Do you typically struggle to say no to others and feel guilty when you do? Do you desire to be liked and care what others think of you? Does the approval from others mean so much that you will put their needs above your own? Or agree to do things you don’t want to do? Do you pretend to agree with others, when you actually disagree? If so, you are kind, empathetic, and caring… but you are probably a people-pleaser.
Is people-pleasing bad?
People-pleasing is a harmful pattern which can lead to anger, frustration, resentment, anxiety, and depression. If you’re putting your mental and physical energy into pleasing others, you won’t have any left to take care of yourself and your happiness. The more you engage in people-pleasing, the more people will take advantage of you (sometimes without even realizing that they are doing it). This cycle can be hard to break, but there is hope!
What should I do?
– Setting boundaries can help- know your boundaries and communicate them. Tell someone about your boundaries so they can hold you accountable.
– Practice saying no- you can start small by saying no at restaurants or over text. The more you practice, the easier it will get!
– Identify your priorities so that when someone requests something from you, you can ask yourself “Is this something I really want or need to do?”.
If you’re a people pleaser, you can get help from a mental health professional. It is hard to put these actions into place on your own. Therapists can help you get to the root of your people-pleasing habits and teach you skills to begin implementing in your daily life. LSCI has professionals that want to help you with all of your struggles, big and small.